Drea Moore

So, I never finished telling you the whole story from the hospital.. while I was there feeling like I was dying from the stomach virus they had asked if I were pregnant and I always kind of laugh and say I don’t think so, I sure hope not. So they did a urine and blood pregnancy test, the urine came back negative but the blood test came back undetermined showing levels of hcg (human chorionic gonadotropin) which is in the blood stream if a woman is pregnant. So we weren’t really sure and they were worried that if I was pregnant that it could be an ectopic pregnancy because the hcg levels were so low. An ectopic pregnancy is when the baby starts forming in the ovaries or the fallopian tubes, in which I would rather not be pregnant at all then to have an ectopic pregnancy where I would have to have the baby dissolved (basically killed) or removed surgically because with out doing so the woman’s organs would burst and she would die.

So during this worry of concern I had to have a pap smear and pelvic exam, a sonogram, and an internal exam while in the emergency room ..that is going to cost a pretty penny. But at least I know that I have no diseases heh, no visible cysts or anything wrong with my ovaries or inside. Everything appeared to be normal which is good considering I’m 99.9% positive I have endometriosis. (Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus is found else where in the body causing longer, heavier, and more painful menstrual cycles).

So by orders of the hospital I had to go get blood work done yesterday to re-test the hcg levels in my system and find out if I was truly pregnant, or not. Never in my life have I had such anticipation waiting from Sunday until now to find out. I just received the phone call and……… I’m not. With a sigh of relief, and a sigh of greif.. I said that I would leave it in god’s hands to decide weither or not I am ready yet and apparently I’m not. So, I am very happy that I have more time to enjoy my life without having to care for another person other than myself, but in the same sense I’m very disappointed as I was so excited, so eager, so looking forward to. I truly feel now for my cusin when she had two miscarriages, she wanted them so much, now I semi-understand the feeling of having the idea, and then having it all taken away so quickly ..it sucks. I really am hating my body at this point, with the endometriosis it makes it that much harder to become pregnant as well. I guess one day, hopefully… but not today.